I want to take a stab at trying to understand the types of Spanko’s. I will base my conclusions on my life experiences. Which may not be adequate for the purpose.

First, I don’t think any of us choose to be a spanko, nor do I think any of us choose what kind of spanko we are. I divide spankos into two broad groups. The smaller one, I call the fun group, views spanking as sensual, erotic, and fun. The larger group requires some element of punishment.

I know a good deal about the fun group. I know a little about the other. I got a lifetime supply of punishment in school. They were all traumatic experiences. I don’t want anyone controlling me. I do not want to control anyone. I will not relinquish my freedom nor take another’s.

OBB is about the fun group. I really don’t know what the punishment folks find of interest here.

I was punished with paddlings in school in every grade except one. A reasonable person might infer I would want nothing to do with corporal punishment or I would land in the punishment camp.

Nope. At 15 I started spanking girls. Not one objected. Some girls would do the same thing  to get spanked again. I got my hand on their bare bottom. That was a big deal to a 15 yo. The spankings were brief with lots of giggling. And then there was a half-necked gal in my lap. What to do? What to do?

Here is how I see it. Spanko’s who have to have punishment with spanking seem to be ashamed of it. It’s their darkest secret. They don’t want to talk about it. Perhaps it is that spanking is normally associated with childhood punishment?

Those of us who see spanking as fun are more open about it. I never had a problem suggesting to a date that she might need a good spanking. Not all took my offer, but most did.

Our spanking group was composed exclusively of fun people. Before anyone could join they had to write a profile about themselves and explain what they expected from the group. The profile was published on our website so that every member could know something about them.

Looking back now, I think writing the profile, outing themselves, kept the punishment crowd out of our group. That was not our intention, it just worked that way.

Frankly, I don’t think the two groups can mingle successfully.

The Fun group may be divided into Tops, Bottoms and Switches.

The Punishment group might be divided into Sadists and Masochistic. Those labels might not apply to all, but they sure do to most.

Masochistics seek gratification through pain, degradation, or self-denial. When I see a man or woman being thrashed with a heavy cane and not showing any reaction, I don’t need to know more about them to know they live in the punishment camp. Ditto for self-denial in all its forms.

Sadists crave tears.

A reader commented:

Okay, waxing philosophical here. I suppose my take is our interests / desires / motivations for spanking exist along a spectrum. For some it’s a binary yes/no choice, e.g. punishment vs pleasure. But I believe for a lot of folks, they find themselves somewhere along that spectrum, perhaps in the middle, or having a blend of interests which mix the sexually driven (physical sex drive / foreplay) parts, with those more emotionally sourced (intimacy, connection, trust, therapeutic, etc.).

Even where sex is the primary motivation, the foreplay parts… scratching a particular ‘kink’ itch (e.g. – dressing for it, anticipation, roleplay – including punishment or other scenarios… captive maiden, cruel pirate, strict teacher, whatever…) those mental / emotional elements are what spices up the encounter, makes the moment extra ‘hot’ or not.

Side observation? Appears to be a growing number of female spankee’s who see spanking itself AS the sex. I haven’t met one personally so cannot speak as to exactly how that works for them. I suspect far fewer men share that view. But even for those among us whose interests may lean more to the extremes of submission or wander into BDSM territory, denial, etc.; my theory is they would tell you for them it’s still sexual in its nature.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finding a spanking partner  I never had any problem finding a gal that liked to be spanked. If she seemed like a keeper I would suggest she could paddle me. The secret here is to keep it fun. If she agrees this is not the time to make a lot of rules. Take what she gives and be complimentary. Down the road you can suggest an modification.

What you don’t want to do is suggest she become the dominant or the leader. For a fun girl, you are screwing with the cosmic order, you are pouring diesel into a carbureted engine. She may try to accommodate you, but there are few long-term success stories. You ambushed her. You may have married a fun girl and then wanted her to punish you. That’s deception.

If you require a woman to control, scold and punish you other than hiring one, I have no idea how to find one.

 

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Domhnall
Domhnall
October 7, 2024 8:31 am

Well said.

I always enjoy your blog, Sir. Please keep it going. Thank you.

Rosco
Rosco
October 7, 2024 9:09 am

Irene and I are in between. All roleplay, scenarios involving her spanking me for some sort of misbehavior – often peeking up skirts. I enjoy the sensation and savor it as a spanking goes on. She likes to make it hurt. We both also love the lecture. But we don’t take it seriously. It’s a sex game that works for us.

tex
tex
October 7, 2024 11:05 am

Okay, waxing philosophical here. I suppose my take is our interests / desires / motivations for spanking exist along a spectrum. For some it’s a binary yes/no choice, e.g. punishment vs pleasure. But I believe for a lot of folks, they find themselves somewhere along that spectrum, perhaps in the middle, or having a blend of interests which mix the sexually driven (physical sex drive / foreplay) parts, with those more emotionally sourced (intimacy, connection, trust, therapeutic, etc.).

Even where sex is the primary motivation, the foreplay parts… scratching a particular ‘kink’ itch (e.g. – dressing for it, anticipation, roleplay – including punishment or other scenarios… captive maiden, cruel pirate, strict teacher, whatever…) those mental / emotional elements are what spices up the encounter, makes the moment extra ‘hot’ or not.

Side observation? Appears to be a growing number of female spankee’s who see spanking itself AS the sex. I haven’t met one personally so cannot speak as to exactly how that works for them. I suspect far fewer men share that view. But even for those among us whose interests may lean more to the extremes of submission or wander into BDSM territory, denial, etc.; my theory is they would tell you for them it’s still sexual in its nature.

Interesting topic for exploration, thanks Bogey!

tex
tex
October 7, 2024 6:15 pm
Reply to  Bogey

Hmmm… that would have required coming up with the idea in the first place. All I did was volley it back over the net.

And yes, there are more. Quite a few I’ve seen indicate in their profiles as being asexual or somewhere along that particular spectrum. Their interest is only in the spanking, ala as the Kentucky Headhunters said “Don’t hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself!” 🙂

Dan Quale
Dan Quale
October 7, 2024 6:24 pm
Reply to  tex

UHM That was the Georgia Satellites…….LOL

Lee Roberts
Lee Roberts
October 7, 2024 12:54 pm

As I have mentioned before, I have been interested in spanking since I was very young. I used to enjoy the newspaper comic strips where many characters were spanked even though I did not enjoy getting spanked. From the Phantom to the Captain and the kids. from Prince Valiant to Blondie would have somebody getting spanked. I used to cut out these strips and save them. I was never spanked OTK with a hairbrush like some of the characters and actually felt cheated (my wife has taken care of that).

For me spanking was never about punishment but a “NEED”, that I could never understand. I knew it had something to do more with sex because when I got older, thinking about it would immediately get an erection. Creating a reason to get spanked did enhance the experience and I preferred long spankings to hard short ones, ones where I would never know when they would end. Where I would never feel I need more. That I was well and soundly spanked.

Still don’t really understand it, but I know how to fulfill that need without just asking.

000a
Dan Quale
Dan Quale
October 7, 2024 6:28 pm
Reply to  Bogey

Ditto, Never liked or cared for school paddling, However remove the school environment and insert a playful setting with a similar learning lady friend I was there all day every day.

Jack
Jack
October 8, 2024 10:32 am
Reply to  Lee Roberts

We fall somewhere in between. There is no doubt that spanking is play for us, but given a choice between just “impact play” and a scenario which is simply a setting, not rehearsed lines, we play with. I will take the latter. Its not necessarily a need for punishment, but a fun play acted out between lovers. So, why not? As in the example in the phot above, there is an implied reason behind that picture.
For example, If I leave the house to run an errand without taking my cell phone, we both have agreed, there is a penalty for that. The consequences of leaving the house without a way to stay in touch easily could be a problem in real life.
The interesting part about all this is there is a little tingle, and a little smile each time I run a routine errand. It just spices up the day. Its “punishment” but not really. Just for clarity, I rarely forget my phone!!

Prefectdt
Prefectdt
October 7, 2024 1:52 pm

I would say that I am a submissive spankee who is prepared to switch, rather than actual being a switch. Sex is not off the menu, but it is not the point of the exercise, for me. At the end of the day, I am a Brat. TTWD is far too much fun, for me to take it seriously 🙂

Prefectdt

john
john
October 7, 2024 7:33 pm

As always, great, thinking, and great post!
You mentioned Jillian Keenan. I think her book Sex with Shakespeare does a better job of explaining my own interest in spanking, its origins, and the psychological ties to it than anything I’ve ever seen. She points out links in Shakespeare that I had no idea meant spanking, but they clearly do. I have studied more Shakespeare than most people, but I’m certainly not any sort of expert or fluent in it. The language is difficult I believe she also talks about the degree of spanking in ancient Roman and Greek texts.

.
I will point out that Jillian both derives sexual pleasure and becomes aroused, having tremendous orgasms from spanking. She doesn’t talk about spanking someone else, She talks about being spanked herself.. At the beginning of her book, she is talking about spanking as an adjunct to sex. In her later writing, she appears to have lost interest in sex itself and sees spanking as sex.

her book is probably difficult to read for many, but I would just say that I think it is worthwhile. I’m rereading it right now after you mentioned it.

Thanks again for the great material you put up!

John.

Peter
Peter
October 7, 2024 8:04 pm

I would definitely place myself in the fun camp. While generally in agreement about your observation re the punishment brigade, where you say ‘When I see a man or woman being thrashed…..’ I would propose that it is not as conclusive as you suggest, I have met a number of both sexes who regard receiving a good thrashing as fun, and a huge turn on.

That does give rise to the concept that spankers don’t fall into two discrete groups, but exist on a spectrum with many variations. The proposition in the posting may define the extremes of this spectrum.

Somewhere recently I came across a reference to a lady who produced a study of spanking, it may have been a thesis as part of a doctorate. If I find the item a link will be posted.