Several things prompted me to try to define spanking styles. Yes, I know this has been attempted before. Sometimes in great detail, all of which fell off the mark. So here are my definitions.

I want you to know that my prejudices are evident in these definitions. I also understand that while I strongly resist external guidance in my life, there are a great many people who want guidance and want to be cared for from an early age.

Intensity may range from light to severe in all cases.

Fun – Just that, fun. Probably erotic fun. You don’t look for reasons to spank, nor do you do behave in a petulant way to earn a spanking. You can ask for a spanking. You can name your poison, dress, position, implement, number of licks, etc. Or you can leave it all up to your spanker. You may submit to your spanker in what ever way is comfortable to you. You may be what we call a bedroom submissive. There is no need of a dom/sub dynamic to be going on.

Submission – You have a strong need to submit to your spanker. You need to feel that they are in charge – often at all times, but especially so when you are being spanked. Your need to submit is the keystone of your spankings.

Faux Punishment/Discipline [*] – You may like your spankings to be fun or to satisfy a need to submit or both. Your spankings need to be staged as punishment/discipline to be really enjoyed. Your behavior is not a part of your spankings.

Punishment/Discipline – In one or more aspects of your life, you do not wish act as an adult – all the time. You need someone else to hold you accountable. You may need to act out and be punished. If your spanker lets an offense slide, you may become impossible to live with until you are taken to task. Weakness in your spanker can create chaos in your life.

If “girls” / “boys” / submissives use the relationship to grow from it and to build up self-confidence through the knowledge that they have a daddy / mummy / master / mistress or HOH who loves and bolsters them, I consider that to be a good thing. And if the top gets something out of helping her or his partner to grow, I think that’s a good thing as well.

There is another possible way of using … power dynamics, though, … What I’m talking about is the combination of a bottom who doesn’t want to grow up at all and a top who doesn’t want a grown-up, equal partner, either. To my mind, this form of relationship is very unhealthy and can lead to quite horrible situations…

Thanks Kaelah!