Our Bottoms Burn

I want to take a stab at trying to understand the types of Spanko’s. I will base my conclusions on my life experiences. Which may not be adequate for the purpose.

First, I don’t think any of us choose to be a spanko, nor do I think any of us choose what kind of spanko we are. I divide spankos into two broad groups. The smaller one, I call the fun group, views spanking as sensual, erotic, and fun. The larger group requires some element of punishment.

I know a good deal about the fun group. I know a little about the other. I got a lifetime supply of punishment in school. They were all traumatic experiences. I don’t want anyone controlling me. I do not want to control anyone. I will not relinquish my freedom nor take another’s.

OBB is about the fun group. I really don’t know what the punishment folks find of interest here.

I was punished with paddlings in school in every grade except one. A reasonable person might infer I would want nothing to do with corporal punishment or I would land in the punishment camp.

Nope. At 15 I started spanking girls. Not one objected. Some girls would do the same thing  to get spanked again. I got my hand on their bare bottom. That was a big deal to a 15 yo. The spankings were brief with lots of giggling. And then there was a half-necked gal in my lap. What to do? What to do?

Here is how I see it. Spanko’s who have to have punishment with spanking seem to be ashamed of it. It’s their darkest secret. They don’t want to talk about it. Perhaps it is that spanking is normally associated with childhood punishment?

Those of us who see spanking as fun are more open about it. I never had a problem suggesting to a date that she might need a good spanking. Not all took my offer, but most did.

Our spanking group was composed exclusively of fun people. Before anyone could join they had to write a profile about themselves and explain what they expected from the group. The profile was published on our website so that every member could know something about them.

Looking back now, I think writing the profile, outing themselves, kept the punishment crowd out of our group. That was not our intention, it just worked that way.

Frankly, I don’t think the two groups can mingle successfully.

The Fun group may be divided into Tops, Bottoms and Switches.

The Punishment group might be divided into Sadists and Masochistic. Those labels might not apply to all, but they sure do to most.

Masochistics seek gratification through pain, degradation, or self-denial. When I see a man or woman being thrashed with a heavy cane and not showing any reaction, I don’t need to know more about them to know they live in the punishment camp. Ditto for self-denial in all its forms.

Sadists crave tears.

A reader commented:

Okay, waxing philosophical here. I suppose my take is our interests / desires / motivations for spanking exist along a spectrum. For some it’s a binary yes/no choice, e.g. punishment vs pleasure. But I believe for a lot of folks, they find themselves somewhere along that spectrum, perhaps in the middle, or having a blend of interests which mix the sexually driven (physical sex drive / foreplay) parts, with those more emotionally sourced (intimacy, connection, trust, therapeutic, etc.).

Even where sex is the primary motivation, the foreplay parts… scratching a particular ‘kink’ itch (e.g. – dressing for it, anticipation, roleplay – including punishment or other scenarios… captive maiden, cruel pirate, strict teacher, whatever…) those mental / emotional elements are what spices up the encounter, makes the moment extra ‘hot’ or not.

Side observation? Appears to be a growing number of female spankee’s who see spanking itself AS the sex. I haven’t met one personally so cannot speak as to exactly how that works for them. I suspect far fewer men share that view. But even for those among us whose interests may lean more to the extremes of submission or wander into BDSM territory, denial, etc.; my theory is they would tell you for them it’s still sexual in its nature.

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Finding a spanking partner  I never had any problem finding a gal that liked to be spanked. If she seemed like a keeper I would suggest she could paddle me. The secret here is to keep it fun. If she agrees this is not the time to make a lot of rules. Take what she gives and be complimentary. Down the road you can suggest an modification.

What you don’t want to do is suggest she become the dominant or the leader. For a fun girl, you are screwing with the cosmic order, you are pouring diesel into a carbureted engine. She may try to accommodate you, but there are few long-term success stories. You ambushed her. You may have married a fun girl and then wanted her to punish you. That’s deception.

If you require a woman to control, scold and punish you other than hiring one, I have no idea how to find one.

I have spanked and been spanked outdoors many times. By Bacall and by friends

Three women have spanked me in one session, one was Bacall. There was a happy ending.

I have spanked a few gals in our van. I spanked one in my car, that was parked in front of her office building at lunchtime. Lots of people walking by, no one seemed to have noticed. Maybe I should have put the top down?

Don’t know for sure, but I have spanked somewhere around 110 women since I was 40. I have no idea how many when I was a teen, say a dozen. And there were a few when I was 25 to 40, mostly one-time affairs.

We went to a few dozen private spanking parties.

Bacall and I enjoyed several long weekends with switchy girlfriends. Three hot bottoms all weekend. Everyone spanked and got spanked. We all wore panties all weekend.

Spanking with another couple. We did this with two couples. Should have done it more. That’s the only thing I regret not doing more of.

Your Turn

I have wondered why an attractive 30yo woman would have sex with a 15yo. I am passing this along as a possible explanation.

1. Social Media and Technology – Many of these teachers that get caught have either recorded incriminating footage or left digital evidence in some way. Technology has made it easier for teachers and students to connect 24/7 and has also made it easier to follow the evidence if inappropriate lines get crossed.

2. Mental Age and the Eternal Pursuit of Youth – Many young adult men and women nowadays aren’t much more mature than they were in high school and kids nowadays are exposed to increasingly mature content at younger and younger ages. With plenty of 20-30 something women who have the maturity of a 16 year old and many young men that have had access to the internet (and all of its content) since birth, it’s bound for more of them to be hooking up. You also have womens’ natural inclination to chase staying young and attractive. It would make sense for an aging woman to pursue younger men in an effort to feel desired and youthful. A.K.A. The Cougar Effect.

3. Control Issues – Most of these teachers that get caught sleeping with students range from cute to 10/10 hot. It’s not like these women can’t get sex from men their age. But they can’t control these men. Young guys are still naive, gullible and malleable about what they’ll accept from women. This creates a power imbalance where the female holds all the power and can effectively make the young man do whatever she wants.

4. Social Standards and the Lack Thereof – Since the sexual liberation of the 60’s, the standards of acceptable behavior for women have become increasingly lax. Women were traditionally expected to fill specific societal roles (Wife, Mother, Grandmother, etc) and to act accordingly. Now, the only standards American women are held to come from the overarching FSM that is heavily infused with feminist beliefs. One key belief of modern women and feminists is that a woman should face no repercussions for doing whatever she wants to do, as long as it makes her happy and doesn’t go against the FSM. There is no religion to check these women. There are no men to check these women. Women are free to do almost whatever they want to do at this point, and are actively encouraged to do so. This likely plays a large part in female teachers sleeping with underage students.