A reader commented about the conversations he would have with women he might meet. I thought it was a good topic for a post and he favored us with this.
My first meeting 30 years ago was with a woman who advertised in the Shadow Lane Personals publication.
Once I decided to explore this side of my sexuality, I put together an intro letter and sent it out to 10 or 12 ads in my area. Her ad explained she was not looking for sex, just a friend who she could share her fascination with spanking with. She mentioned hand spanking to start, maybe a hairbrush could come out someday.
I flew into JFK, and she met me at the airport. We had a 3-hour lunch someplace on a side street in Manhattan. Those 3 hours went by so fast I could hardly believe it. Then we visited an adult store off of Broadway called Kinematics. We were like kids in a candy store.
Neither one of us had been with anyone who understood our sexuality before, and I remember the feeling was exquisite. She teased me off and on that day, and we topped it off with the first actual consensual spanking either of us had ever experienced. At the time, I had a Nu-west hairbrush which I bought in anticipation of us getting together and after a while she wanted to feel the brush too. Of course I was ever so willing to make good on her request.
It was a heady feeling to finally be in the moment. During these encounters, she loved the idea of being “taken in hand” and spanked no role-play needed. Although it was obvious we were both aroused, we both agreed there was a hard limit at sex. We played 2 or 3 times a year for over 20 years, She passed away a few years ago, and I feel sad sometimes that I lost a very close friend like no other.
Most one-on-one meetings I had were like that. No real role-play, but very sore bottoms afterward along with a warmth that was palatable. As you know, spankings can go on for a very long time from warm up thru progression of implements. I was always cognizant of the shade of red and considered it to be the Top’s responsibility to stop. There were many times I stopped at the disappointment of whomever I was spanking. So, no blood red bottoms for me either.
I also played with several women who loved to email me the start to a storyline, and I would pick it up from there, and send back the next chapter. IE: pulled over for speeding or over spending a credit card etc etc. These were always fun because once the story got started, it took on a life of its own. I always thought of these as extensions of Will Henry’s books, or the Sassy Ladies books that came out in the 90’s. Heck, even Ed Lee had some good story lines. It was all part of a fun game. Occasionally, they included some simple rope bondage ,and other toys which made the whole thing even more sexy.
The one thing I never ran into was REAL punishment spankings. It just never came up. I think the reason is there is a level of disappointment, or disrespect that has to be present. We were always too busy having too much fun to go there.
Spanking parties were completely different. The ones I went to had hundreds of people coming and “playing” was the reason you went. There were dance cards to fill out and lots of role-play, School girl costumes, and bratting happening. Unless you played with someone before, there was always a safe word and lots of checking in during a scene. The most important take away I got from these parties was safety. No one wanted to be banned so by far, MOST people followed the rules. The downside was the pace was many times faster than one-on-one meetings.
One thing you and I agree on is the feeling after, “the high”, as you called it, when you get that hug after and maybe a whisper in the ear saying, ” Thank you that was FUN”
Jack
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Jack – An enjoyable commentary, thanks for sharing. And Bogey, thanks for posting. I remember the Kinematics bookstore, made it there once during a business trip to that area and yes… spanko candy-store is an apt description! It was rare to find so much spanking related goods in one place for sure. Your experience with the sexual context of spanking is interesting. Spanko’s ability to compartmentalize; enjoy something inherently ‘sexual’ for them while not engaging or even considering it ‘sex’, can be difficult for non-spanko’s to grasp.
@Tex, I am glad you enjoyed it, and thanks to Bogey for posting it. One of the most difficult decisions I ever made was to explore that side of me. But, I am so glad I did. I met so many wonderful people in the scene over the years, I’ve never regretted it.
Such a beautiful piece of life you two shared.