A Conservation With a Reader

Morning

Have you or Bacall ever sat down and discussed what it is you like? I’ve read over the “How each of  us likes to be paddled” several times and I felt like this was very well thought out. But I wondered how specific your communications were.

We got to our places with many conversations over many years.

 Although I  am very well matched with a spanko wife who is the love of my life, I am not a great communicator when it comes to specifics. ( can you imagine that!!)  It seems a bit odd to me that after 30+ years in the scene, I’ve never actually clarified it.

Some folks get off on dirty talk. I have never been altogether sure of what that means. If it includes saying what you are going to do to the other, we do that. I have done that to probably every gal I have spanked. Occasionally, their eyes will get wide and I can tell she is realizing that I am going to do that which she has silently wanted to happen to her for decades. That’s communication.  Grin

I do it with Bacall. For instance, she is a bedroom bondage fan. I don’t go there more than once a month to keep it fresh. I like to surprise her. When she is bound, I tell her I can do anything I want to her and she will have to take it. The “you have to take it” elicits a swoon.  That’s communication. We know each others hot buttons and like to jump on them. I am gleefully sadistic.

We have learned each other hot buttons by talking about what we want and how we want it. That was hard for me in the beginning. It was always easy for her. I learned I could tell her anything or ask for anything just by following her example.

Second, we normally do a debrief afterward. We say what we liked, and what we want more or less of. [Debrief – Is that a pun?]

We also got comfortable with expressing a change of course mid-session. For instance, asking for a different toy or more licks (or less) for instance.

Backing up to “you have to take it”. It evolved that one of us would sometimes tell the other after the spanking was seemingly over “I want to give you another 10 licks. They are going to be hard. Will you take them for me”. She would say “Do I have to”? I would say yes and she would bend over, push her bottom out, and steel herself for the paddle. That’s submission. She would do me the same way. She would give me a hot bottom and then ask me to take more licks for her. Do it for her. They were always as hard as she could swing. That’s as submissive as I ever got.

She prefers to know she is going to be paddled a day in advance so she has the time to work herself into a submissive mood. She usually sentences herself, telling me that she needs a paddling tomorrow. I tease her the rest of the day that I am going to paddle her in the morning. I think that’s communication.

So yeah, we talk about it before, during and after. You think you guys can do that?

 Also, have you or Bacall ever felt like you need a good paddling to center your emotions, and if yes, Have you found it to be successful.

No, never that. It was helpful to us in our 40’s when we both worked long hours. No time during the week for sex or play. We would force ourselves to spank on Saturday mornings to relieve our tension.

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Dwight Eisenhower talks about D-Day with Walter Cronkite 20 years after. The only time a President ever talked at length about anything that he was not trying to sell you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNaxTXfjfXk