I am caught short here. I don’t have a post ready. Perhaps some of you will find a little merit in this. It was of interest to Stevie Van Zandt.
Sapiosexual

 

I am reading  Unrequited Infatuations: A Memoir by Stevie Van Zandt. He used the word sapiosexual. I had no idea what it meant so I Googled it. Accommodating genders from birth has been done in ancient empires, like Indian, for millennia.

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Sapiosexual – a person finding intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.

Below that definition, Google listed several other related terms. Some, new to me.

A person who identifies as biromantic can be romantically attracted to multiple genders. Biromantic asexuals seek romantic, but not sexual, relationships with people of more than one gender identity.

When a person is asexual, they are not sexually attracted to anyone.

The prefix “poly” means many, and polysexual individuals are attracted to people of multiple genders. People who identify as polysexual often use that word because it suggests a greater variety of sexual orientations than traditional gender binaries of male and female, or hetero and homosexual.

The four genders are masculine, feminine, neuter and common.

What are some different gender identities?

Agender

A person who is agender does not identify with any particular gender, or they may have no gender at all.

Other terms for this may include:

  • neutral gender
  • null-gender
  • genderless
  • neutrois

Androgyne

A person who identifies as androgyne has a gender that is either both masculine and feminine or between masculine and feminine.

Bigender

A person who identifies as bigender has two genders.

People who are bigender often display cultural masculine and feminine roles.

Butch

Women, especially lesbians, tend to use this term to describe the way they express masculinity, or what society defines as masculinity.

However, the LGBTQIA Resource Center state that “butch” can also be a gender identity in itself.

Cisgender

A cisgender person identifies with the sex that they were assigned at birth.

For example, a cisgender woman is someone who still identifies with the sex — female, in this case — a doctor assigned them at birth.

Gender expansive

The LGBTQIA Resource Center define gender expansive as an “umbrella term used for individuals who broaden their own culture’s commonly held definitions of gender, including expectations for its expression, identities, roles, and/or other perceived gender norms.”

Those who are gender expansive include people who are transgender and people whose gender broadens the surrounding society’s notion of what gender is.

Genderfluid

A person who identifies as genderfluid has a gender identity and presentation that shifts between, or shifts outside of, society’s expectations of gender.

Gender outlaw

A person who identifies as a gender outlaw refuses to allow society’s definition of “male” or “female” to define them.

Genderqueer

A person who identifies as genderqueer has a gender identity or expression that is not the same as society’s expectations for their assigned sex or assumed gender.

Genderqueer can also refer to a person who identifies outside of how society defines gender or someone who identifies with a combination of genders.

Masculine of center

A person who uses this term is usually a lesbian or a trans person who leans more toward masculine performances and experiences of gender.

Nonbinary

A person who identifies as nonbinary does not experience gender within the gender binary.

People who are nonbinary may also experience overlap with different gender expressions, such as being gender non-conforming.

Omnigender

A person who identifies as omnigender experiences and possesses all genders.

Polygender and pangender

People who identify as polygender or pangender experience and display parts of multiple genders.

Transgender

This is an umbrella term that encompasses all people who experience and identify with a different gender than that which their assigned sex at birth would suggest.

Although most people think of trans men and trans women when hearing the word transgender, this term also encompasses people who identify as a gender other than man or woman, including nonbinary and genderfluid.

Trans

Trans is a more inclusive term that covers those who identify as nonbinary and those who are genderless, according to the LGBTQIA Resource Center.

Two Spirit

Two Spirit is an umbrella term that encompasses different sexualities and genders in Indigenous Native American communities.

There are many different definitions of Two Spirit, and Indigenous Native American people may or may not use this term to describe their experiences and feelings of masculinity and femininity.

This is a cultural term that is reserved for those who identify as an Indigenous Native American.

And throw this in the mix

Incel

a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile toward women and men who are sexually active.

I agree with this reader’s view.

Blogging is definitely in decline both in quantity and quality as well. It feels generational to me; as in belonging more to ours than the ones coming after, hence the fall-off. What was so new and exhilarating is 30-plus years old now. We’ve… aged.

The younger generation largely lacks writing and composition skills.  Hence they opt for pics, vids and short comments not requiring punctuation or grammatical structure.

In some kind of contest, she takes hard licks and does not flinch

It Won’t Fit Inside Because It’s Too Big

The Spanking Couple seemed to be like us. I would have liked to have met them and found out.

A modern room, with classic desks. I wonder what it is.

Agreeably across my lap, in appealing panties and a pony tail. That’s enough for me.

She wants a sound paddling, she got the bath brush

She goes over the desk with a practiced motion. Oh, wait, it’s a pro shoot.

I am different. I am a 50/50 switch. That places me in a minority of spankos. I am married to a switch – that puts me in an even smaller minority. We have both played with others, putting us into rarified territory.

The way I am paddled is probably different than your method.

Remember this when reading OBB, as my experiences almost certainly differ from yours.

For instance, I have an erection from the moment I know I am going to be paddled. It stays with me throughout the paddling. The paddle licks are hard, but I have a few seconds to recover between licks. If I were paddled fast and furious, it would go from pleasure to punishment, and my boner would get lost. So I don’t go there.

Put another way, I would not take a spanking if I were not aroused, as the pain would not be pleasant.

This is a survey that shows that most men only get aroused after a spanking. So, I am in the minority on that. [Scroll down and see the 65 answers to question 22. PS I have never leaked anything at any time. Do these men have an STD or prostate problems?]

http://www.howtospankyourman.net/2007/01/poll-miss-francy-report-ii-my-adult.html?zx=f73bd17bfdb1797c]

I will illustrate how I come to a spanking with two old Nu-West photos

How to prevent pleasure

According to the survey, the way most men come to a spanking

I want to take a stab at trying to understand the types of Spanko’s. I will base my conclusions on my life experiences. Which may not be adequate for the purpose.

First, I don’t think any of us choose to be a spanko, nor do I think any of us choose what kind of spanko we are. I divide spankos into two broad groups. The smaller one, I call the fun group, views spanking as sensual, erotic, and fun. The larger group requires some element of punishment.

I know a good deal about the fun group. I know a little about the other. I got a lifetime supply of punishment in school. They were all traumatic experiences. I don’t want anyone controlling me. I do not want to control anyone. I will not relinquish my freedom nor take another’s.

OBB is about the fun group. I really don’t know what the punishment folks find of interest here.

I was punished with paddlings in school in every grade except one. A reasonable person might infer I would want nothing to do with corporal punishment or I would land in the punishment camp.

Nope. At 15 I started spanking girls. Not one objected. Some girls would do the same thing  to get spanked again. I got my hand on their bare bottom. That was a big deal to a 15 yo. The spankings were brief with lots of giggling. And then there was a half-necked gal in my lap. What to do? What to do?

Here is how I see it. Spanko’s who have to have punishment with spanking seem to be ashamed of it. It’s their darkest secret. They don’t want to talk about it. Perhaps it is that spanking is normally associated with childhood punishment?

Those of us who see spanking as fun are more open about it. I never had a problem suggesting to a date that she might need a good spanking. Not all took my offer, but most did.

Our spanking group was composed exclusively of fun people. Before anyone could join they had to write a profile about themselves and explain what they expected from the group. The profile was published on our website so that every member could know something about them.

Looking back now, I think writing the profile, outing themselves, kept the punishment crowd out of our group. That was not our intention, it just worked that way.

Frankly, I don’t think the two groups can mingle successfully.

The Fun group may be divided into Tops, Bottoms and Switches.

The Punishment group might be divided into Sadists and Masochistic. Those labels might not apply to all, but they sure do to most.

Masochistics seek gratification through pain, degradation, or self-denial. When I see a man or woman being thrashed with a heavy cane and not showing any reaction, I don’t need to know more about them to know they live in the punishment camp. Ditto for self-denial in all its forms.

Sadists crave tears.

A reader commented:

Okay, waxing philosophical here. I suppose my take is our interests / desires / motivations for spanking exist along a spectrum. For some it’s a binary yes/no choice, e.g. punishment vs pleasure. But I believe for a lot of folks, they find themselves somewhere along that spectrum, perhaps in the middle, or having a blend of interests which mix the sexually driven (physical sex drive / foreplay) parts, with those more emotionally sourced (intimacy, connection, trust, therapeutic, etc.).

Even where sex is the primary motivation, the foreplay parts… scratching a particular ‘kink’ itch (e.g. – dressing for it, anticipation, roleplay – including punishment or other scenarios… captive maiden, cruel pirate, strict teacher, whatever…) those mental / emotional elements are what spices up the encounter, makes the moment extra ‘hot’ or not.

Side observation? Appears to be a growing number of female spankee’s who see spanking itself AS the sex. I haven’t met one personally so cannot speak as to exactly how that works for them. I suspect far fewer men share that view. But even for those among us whose interests may lean more to the extremes of submission or wander into BDSM territory, denial, etc.; my theory is they would tell you for them it’s still sexual in its nature.

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Finding a spanking partner  I never had any problem finding a gal that liked to be spanked. If she seemed like a keeper I would suggest she could paddle me. The secret here is to keep it fun. If she agrees this is not the time to make a lot of rules. Take what she gives and be complimentary. Down the road you can suggest an modification.

What you don’t want to do is suggest she become the dominant or the leader. For a fun girl, you are screwing with the cosmic order, you are pouring diesel into a carbureted engine. She may try to accommodate you, but there are few long-term success stories. You ambushed her. You may have married a fun girl and then wanted her to punish you. That’s deception.

If you require a woman to control, scold and punish you other than hiring one, I have no idea how to find one.

 

I have spanked and been spanked outdoors many times. By Bacall and by friends

Three women have spanked me in one session, one was Bacall. There was a happy ending.

I have spanked a few gals in our van. I spanked one in my car, that was parked in front of her office building at lunchtime. Lots of people walking by, no one seemed to have noticed. Maybe I should have put the top down?

Don’t know for sure, but I have spanked somewhere around 110 women since I was 40. I have no idea how many when I was a teen, say a dozen. And there were a few when I was 25 to 40, mostly one-time affairs.

We went to a few dozen private spanking parties.

Bacall and I enjoyed several long weekends with switchy girlfriends. Three hot bottoms all weekend. Everyone spanked and got spanked. We all wore panties all weekend.

Spanking with another couple. We did this with two couples. Should have done it more. That’s the only thing I regret not doing more of.

Your Turn

I have wondered why an attractive 30yo woman would have sex with a 15yo. I am passing this along as a possible explanation.

1. Social Media and Technology – Many of these teachers that get caught have either recorded incriminating footage or left digital evidence in some way. Technology has made it easier for teachers and students to connect 24/7 and has also made it easier to follow the evidence if inappropriate lines get crossed.

2. Mental Age and the Eternal Pursuit of Youth – Many young adult men and women nowadays aren’t much more mature than they were in high school and kids nowadays are exposed to increasingly mature content at younger and younger ages. With plenty of 20-30 something women who have the maturity of a 16 year old and many young men that have had access to the internet (and all of its content) since birth, it’s bound for more of them to be hooking up. You also have womens’ natural inclination to chase staying young and attractive. It would make sense for an aging woman to pursue younger men in an effort to feel desired and youthful. A.K.A. The Cougar Effect.

3. Control Issues – Most of these teachers that get caught sleeping with students range from cute to 10/10 hot. It’s not like these women can’t get sex from men their age. But they can’t control these men. Young guys are still naive, gullible and malleable about what they’ll accept from women. This creates a power imbalance where the female holds all the power and can effectively make the young man do whatever she wants.

4. Social Standards and the Lack Thereof – Since the sexual liberation of the 60’s, the standards of acceptable behavior for women have become increasingly lax. Women were traditionally expected to fill specific societal roles (Wife, Mother, Grandmother, etc) and to act accordingly. Now, the only standards American women are held to come from the overarching FSM that is heavily infused with feminist beliefs. One key belief of modern women and feminists is that a woman should face no repercussions for doing whatever she wants to do, as long as it makes her happy and doesn’t go against the FSM. There is no religion to check these women. There are no men to check these women. Women are free to do almost whatever they want to do at this point, and are actively encouraged to do so. This likely plays a large part in female teachers sleeping with underage students.

 

A reader sent this link. You only need to watch from about 50 seconds to 1:40.

The answer was obvious to me. The reader said he would not have been able to say spanking on TV. So he would have lost the game.

Here how I see it. Spanko’s wh0 have to have punishment with spanking are forever ashamed of wanting to be spanked.

Those of us who see spanking as fun are open about it and not ashamed.

I was punished with paddlings in school in every grade except one. It would seem I would have landed in the punishment camp. Nope. At 15 I started spanking girls for our mutual enjoyment.

Our spanking group was composed exclusively of fun people. I guess our requirement of writing and explaining what you expected from the group put you in the fun group.

I have to say I was disappointed in the response to Saturday’s post. I started out with a humorous image of a woman scrubbing the floors while being plowed.

Then I made a big jump to a picture of Bacall taken while she was throughly enjoying herself. I used two lines from Taxi to explain how I viewed what happened. Not one damn word said about Bacall, but you folks sure are Harry Chapin fans.

I’ll take that and try not t0 share such intimate details in the future.

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OBB has from the first post been about sensual, fun, erotic spanking. Never ever about punishment, discipline, behavior modification. When I spank I grin. She may also. When she puts the wood to me, she does with glee as she knows it gives me sensual gratification.

I know that people like us make up about 1/5 of the spanko population. We are always a minority.

I learned from the second round of Pick Y0ur Spanker that many OBB readers want a dominate woman to soundly spank them. That surprised me. You will not see many dominate women on OBB. I want the girl next door paddling me.

This was on my mind. Now to some pictures that I did not take.

I like every thing about this picture, except the cigarette.

Xtra Long Legs

Bubble Butt

This has been around, but it’s fav of mine.

I know some readers have never spanked a woman. This is how I like spankings to go.

Her suitcase on the floor. I wonder h0w many panties she packed for this rendezvous

A Bath Brush Can Be Hard to Take

This picture goes back 40 odd years. She put it in an ad. We exchanged letters. Yes, letters. She found her spanker before I could close the deal with her.

I recently learned that a woman we had not seen in several years had died. In mid-life, she had decided the most important thing to her was to be submissive to a man and be paddled for breaking rules she thought were important.

She divorced her husband. Her two late teen boys moved in with their Dad. All she wanted was her freedom and a small house. Freedom. Free to live as another man required her.

She was a delightful person. We did not have a spanking relationship. Nor would I have wanted one. We spent some weekends parkng our RV at her home on the Gulf Coast nd eating seafood and yakking.

When we first knew her, her Dom was long distance. If she broke a rule, he had a local man paddle her. Later her Dom was a like a traveling minister. He would travel between all his submissives, staying a week or so with each and give them sore bottoms. No sex.

We have known several other women who have done the same thing.

I think a irrational need to be submissive is a form of mental illness. Men or Women.

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I find it equally odd that men will seek to Dom women from a distance. Sometimes never meeting face-to-face. Men with families that take considerable time to talk with their sub daily.

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Regular readers know we are both alpha types. Sometimes, Bacall will want to be submissive. She tells me the day before exactly what she wants and works her mind into becoming that submissive. I call it being bedroom submissive. Bondage helps get her “her mind right”. I have became experienced in trigger words and sentences that help her settle in. When released she always does a particular sex act. One that means submission to her. She never does it any other time. She would if I asked, but I reserve it for her special use.

As soon as our play session is over she is back to doing what she wants, how she wants, when she wants.

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Many thanks for the several dozen Get Well notes. I would like to acknowledge all, but that is not in the cards.
One loyal reader sent a note along with the photo. Bacall being female locked onto her Swede shoes matching her hose.
Sorry the ‘f*ckin leukemia’ is being a jerk again. Hopefully that will subside soon and your energy will return to more enjoyable levels.
Until then, since you’re spending all that time in bed anyways? Thought I’d send you some extra company to spend it with… enjoy.
It turned out the Leukemia is not the cause. In fact my blood counts have improved for the third month without treatment. But I am getting ahead of the story.
While waiting the see the doc I was feeling increasing faint. I asked to lay down and as soon as I did I blacked out, had muscle spasms, my eyes rolled back and I vomited the once of fruit drink I had.
I woke up to see seven white lab coats looking distressed. They did an EKG and it was abnormal. They called the paramedics and soon they were seven broad chested guys dressed in black on black with steely expressions. Expressions that told me nothing about what they were thinking. They were all combat medics. They has seen mangled bodies, patched up battle wounds, and comforted a soldier in his last minutes.
Guessing it could be my heart they took me an ER in town.
The ER doc I had was a crusty old bird who knew her shit. She ran a half dozen tests came up dry. This left sleep apea. I have not worked up rested in over a year. Maybe time to tweak the settings on the machine?